October 2010
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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within is. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
—Marianne Williamson
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hey thanks for the follow! hope me and my posts wont be a bore to you haha :p i'm Jonah by the way :]
hey! haha I’m Susan. :)
Fuck Yeah Love!: Better to have loved and lost →
My boyfriend Danny and I had the most amazing relationship that I could ever ask for. You know how people say that you just KNOW when you’ve met your soul-mate? Well, it’s true. I knew from the moment I met him that I wanted to spend forever with him. And in a sense, I did get to spend forever with him.
We were that couple. You know, the ones who were so in love that nobody else even mattered. The ones who constantly have to talk to each other, constantly thinking about each other, constantly saying I love you, constantly expressing our feelings, constantly being in love. It was just love, love, love, love.
What made our relationship extremely strong was the fact that he was depressed. And I could be there for him. It’s extremely important to me to take care of the ones I love. And from the day I met him, I knew of his tendencies to want to kill himself. Every time Danny wanted to kill himself, he came to me. And every time, I did what I could to convince him otherwise. And every time, it worked.
Recently, he got hurt. He fainted while skateboarding, starting bleeding from his nose, and his best friend, who was with him, called 911. They picked him up, took him to the hospital, and they fixed him. They made him better. And within a week, I had my baby back. Everything between us was better than before. I was happier than ever. I was more in love than ever, thinking yes, I have another chance with my love.
My chance only lasted one week, because this morning, October 20, 2010 at 5 am, he died. This boy who was and still is my heart, my soul, my world, was taken from me by the hands of a man who never deserved to have had a son like Danny. This boy who, not knowing whether or not he would live, told his brother to pass on a message to me, a message that said he’d wait for me, that we’d be together one day, that he’d watch over me. The fact that he did that will show you how amazing he was.
I’m writing this to let everyone know that it truly is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Because of him, I know perfection exists. Because of him, I know love is truly real. Because of him, I have an angel looking down on me. Because of him, I am the girl I am today.
Danny will always have a piece of my heart. I used to tell him, “I love you to infinity and beyond.” And I still do. I’ll love that boy until the day my heart stops beating. And nothing will ever change that.
Rest in peace, babe.
“Would people ever imagine cars when they had horses? Telephone oppose to direct communication? You have to think of the most unimaginable thing… and make it not unimaginable.”
—Mrs. Macaulay (One of my best friend [Ashley] from school’s mom. :D)
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I don’t dare to try again.
They said time will heal, and time will mend.
And on Halloween, the last time you left,
if I knew you were never coming back,
I would’ve held on to that last day.
Instead of ‘here’s your keys’,
the last thing I’d say would be ‘I love you’, just in case.
I’m only myself when I’m with you, baby.
Anyone else crazy jealous of half-Asians?
